(via theresa-c)
Ok. While you may have a point, I will defend Ms. Portman’s Garden State character until… I don’t feel like it anymore.
First of all, she has to wear a helmet. AT WORK. FOR INSURANCE PURPOSES. I could write the world’s most heartbreaking sonnet on that alone.
Second, the scene where the hamster dies and she’s all cute about the burial. I assume that will happen just about every day with the girl of my dreams, in a metaphorical sense. Actually, scratch metaphor, I’ll just buy tons of hamsters. Those things die all the time.
Third, I believe I think I can speak for the entire male population when I say you should be quirkey and fun all of the time. NO EXCEPTIONS. A little cute, spontaneous laughter, you cook dinner, clean some stuff, have some sexy time, and then that’s it. No mention of anything in the bathroom. Even anything that goes on in the shower is off limits unless there are pictures or I am physically involved.
Anyways, you women of Twitter may feel like you’re on a higher plane because you possess some unique manly skills, like cleverness and wit. But know that, if we ever meet in person, I will not be impressed. I still have dishes to be done. Boom roasted. (I’m kidding I love all* of you).
*some. sort of. you could be robots.